To women harmfully it is a lot of to work. The superfluous hours spent on service, bring it where bolshy harm, than to men. This fact recently it was possible to prove experimentally to employees of Institute of ecology and evolution of the Russian Academy of Sciences of Severtsova.

The reason for that is stress to which all of us inevitably we subject themselves, too tensely working. Intensively doing career, women start to smoke one cigarette for another, to drink many coffee, to be irritated, badly to sleep at night, - in other words, is irreversible destroy the organism. It, experts from ecology and evolution Institute come to conclusion, becomes one of MAIN reasons of female barreness and other heavy diseases with whom the weak half of mankind suffers.

- It is not necessary to consider, that the overstrain does not affect work in any way on health and state of health of men, - the senior scientific employee of institute, Dr.Sci.Biol. Olga Silaeva argues. - eating a fast food and it is a lot of being nervous, they too spoil to themselves a stomach, heart and undermine nervous system. However the mechanism of action of stress as we managed to establish, here is distinguished. The intense schedule of work affects women more negatively.

Ladies-workaholics consume more snack with the high MAINtenance of fats, sugar and caffeine, move less, easily run into heavy dependence on a tobacco smoking and various stimulators. They almost do not eat vegetables and fruit, but sharply increase quantity perekusov between the basic food intakes. Spending on service for 10-12 hours per day, poor fellows gnaw chocolates and wash down with their tonics. Others through everyone run hour-one and a half in buffet, absorbing sausages and rolls. People who subconsciously address to meal as to a method of flight from the validity, name emotional eaters. When such eater feels, that by something is disturbed or raised, aspires to hide with unpleasant experiences, having switched attention to products. The bulimia becomes more and more widespread form of a female neurosis. One of its consequences - a nervous anorexia: being afraid to recover after the next gastronomic feast, the woman it is artificial causes vomiting. And so - many times on day. Result - istonchenie bones, loss of hair, the same barreness... The vicious circle Turns out.

Many think, that workaholism – not so much real problem, how many razdutyj the fact. Well, the person much, well works, seldom it sees the wife and children. What here the such? After all he for them also tries, earns money for the light future. Whether so it? Actually is not present. The people loving the work and devoting to it it is a lot of time nevertheless differ from bright workaholics that in their life there is a place both for a family, and for entertainments, and for a hobby. The workaholic cannot relax out of work, even having a rest, he constantly thinks of it or solves working questions by phone. And it can become really serious problem for a family as a whole and for the significant other of the workaholic in particular. For this reason, level of divorces of families of workaholics is very high, after all because of work of one of partners emotional communication between them is broken, they keep away, and them something in general ceases to connect. What to do? To rescue a family or to neglect all (because the workaholic is excited really only with its work)? The exit is, and the wife of the workaholic (the wife just because workaholism, basically, men suffer) can undertake following steps to keep healthy relations in a family.

It is not necessary to give up as a bad job itself at all. If the husband all time for work, the wife very quietly can go on a party one or descend with children in a zoo, as well as planned. Problems are not present that the husband and the wife spend time separately, MAIN thing that the wife did not forget to entertain itself dialogue with other people, instead of sat at MAIN and silently hated the workaholic-husband.

Time, free from work, at the workaholic should associate only with a family. It is possible to warn in advance him that in the day off family picnic or a campaign in park of attractions with children is planned. Workaholics have got used to live strictly structured life, and the schedule even in the days off it will not damage, and more likely even will help to feel with the plate. It is necessary to observe traditions also. If in a family it is accepted to visit once a week the parents living in the country such tradition cannot be forgotten – so the workaholic can distract all the same from work, and communication with parents will not lose. Traditions in each family there can be a set, it is necessary simply not to forget to honour them together with the husband-workaholic.

It is possible to interest the workaholic in a joint hobby – for example, partners have possibility together to go in for sports (tennis, rock-climbing, driving on bicycles) or simply to take in a habit to walk in the evening in nearby park. Productive leisure is necessary to the workaholic – to it hardly completely to be given to lazy pastime, such as TV viewing on a sofa or vozlezhanie in a chaise lounge on a deserted beach of an overseas resort.

From its part, the workaholic can bring a feasible mite in preservation of relations with the wife – easier to sit down and literally to paint on a paper today's incomes according to plans for the future. Probably, there is a sense in working over a measure today and throughout the next several years, that in the future (not such, by the way, and far) to take pleasure in the desirable house in good area, possibility all family to have a rest in exotic and historical places and more time to devote to dialogue with each other.

For a long time already it is noticed, that colour which you love most of all, can tell something about your mood and even about character. If at you good mood, you choose clothes, for example, pink colour scale, and if bad – for example, green. And on the contrary to struggle with depression, we, as a rule, put on something bright and "solar". If you see things in the clothes, you will notice, that things of one or two colours, most likely, prevail. Certainly, it not accident. So, that the chosen colour of clothes means.

White – synthesis of all colours, «ideal colour». The person with any character can prefer this colour. But it is impossible to forget about cultural traditions of the different countries and the people: at one white colour symbolises cleanliness and innocence, at others – death, at the third – dismissal from all terrestrial. And, certainly, the white dress reminds all Europeans a dressing gown of the nurse!

The black resists to the white. As a rule, this colour reflects gloomy perception of a life and attempt to hide from the validity. Quite often person in which clothes prevails black, happens neuveren and is a little closed.

But! Black colour strojnit, therefore many women, wishing to hide the forms, choose dark tone of dresses and trousers. And how here not to recollect immortal «a small black dress», always fashionable and actual! For an evening dress the dress of this colour more than is pertinent. But if all of you buy black clothes for work and the house is more often, it would be necessary to become thoughtful. Dark tone oppress nervous system, absorb energy. And if this energy and so it is not enough?! In general, look at a situation objectively and admit to itself why black colour at you now dominates.

Grey – favourite colour of serious and judicious natures. As a rule, such people long weigh all pro's and con's before will make the decision. Sober outlook on life and some distrustfulness – here the basic qualities of the person preferring a grey suit. This neutral colour approaches also to those who is afraid to declare itself loudly. But thus grey colour creates working atmosphere and adjusts on a business harmony. Clothes of this shade practical and nonspottable. Besides, on a grey background bright accessories are perfectly looked. So the business day clothes by means of a bright scarf or a necklace can turn to a graceful evening dress. Easily!

Red colour – colour of passions. It is loved by people courageous, imperious, courageous, strong-willed, quick-tempered. Also there is, that a person, aspiring to overcome shyness inherent in it and shyness, puts on in the red. To study to be the focus of attention, keeping feeling of internal comfort, it is better in the elegant dress of this colour. In it it is simply impossible to reMAIN not noticed! And in red underwear (even under a strict suit) the woman feels more attractive and sexual.

People with whom this colour irritates, are afraid of quarrels and conflicts.

Orange colour – favourite colour of dreamers. He speaks about rich imagination, intuition and... Pretence. The girl in the dress of colour of an orange draws men as a magnet the energy and activity. She coquets, plays, entices and – alas – as easily throws. But does it it neosoznanno, not giving itself in it of the report. To bring a holiday and confusion, to create round itself atmosphere of fun and creative lifting – here its style of a life.

Dark blue and blue – colour of the sky and the sea. Colour of depth and infinity. But behind external calmness strong passions can disappear. Hurricane and a storm – here is how it is possible to describe anger of the woman adoring these colours. The emotionality, romanticism, an openness and belief in intuition distinguish people in which clothes this colour scale prevails. Certainly, not last role is played by colour of eyes and hair (blue-eyed blondes in a touching dark blue dress already became for a long time a certain standard).

Green colour is preferred by natures quiet and counterbalanced, is frequent phlegmatic persons. They are inclined to count all courses and avoid superfluous actions. Healthy egoism and belief in rational foundations of the world – perhaps so briefly it is possible to describe features of the woman, in whose clothes is more than dresses of emerald colour or colour khaki. If to look objectively, green colour goes to brown-eyed and green-eyed girls with a swarty skin and chestnut hair. The Solnechno-red shade of hair perfectly is in harmony with clothes of dark marsh colour. Especially with gold accessories.

Yellow colour – colour of changeable mood and inconstancy. Ease on lifting, mobility, an openness to all new and progressive distinguish the girls preferring clothes of lemon and canary colours and in general of all shades of the yellow. Some infantilism in a tandem with congenital grace help to support image of "the sweet girl». The yellow clothes are especially effectively looked with violet or black accessories. And on the contrary. And the bathing suit of colour of the sun is simply remarkably looked on a suntanned skin. But, that it is not necessary to forget, yellow colour casts levity.

Violet colour is preferred by natures romantic and deep, inclined to search of meaning of the life and the universe device. These people dream of opening, about self-improvement and about knowledge of secrets of the Universe. Light lilac shades help to cope with melancholy and "humdrum of life". And here dark-violet colour in considerable quantities can lead to depression. Violet colour promotes immersing in private world.

Beige and brown tone the people who are not assured of the taste or being in search of the "" style and colours often prefer. Sand colour is practically imperceptible to associates and does not leave about itself any memoirs, but bears in itself a calmness and pacification charge. The woman in clothes of beige colour often seems to men touchingly weak and not protected.

Certainly, these supervision are not an indisputable truth, but they help to open with themselves new sides and it is slightly better to understand itself and other people. Try to observe itself and associates – and do conclusions.

In a society of civilised people a considerable role norms of behaviour play, observance of the certain standard rules. The harmonious society is possible only in the event that each person will reckon with associates, instead of to say and make everything, that to it comes to mind. The one who thinks, that can behave, as to it will like, harms only to itself. The respect for associates, courtesy, responsiveness, modesty, politeness, good manners testify in your advantage.

But good behaviour – not an ostentatious external cover, and expression of internal essence of the decent person which respects others as is respectful to itself. Who does not respect and does not appreciate itself, cannot wait, that he was respected by others. Having lost self-respect, the person ceases to respect and other people.

Unfortunately, often young and adult people behave not how it is required. The woman who defiantly puts on, is too brightly painted, loudly laughs and unceasingly speaks, persistently trying, despite of everything, to finish to surrounding the opinion, attracts attention. But whether it can like? The girl who defiantly coquets, should not be surprised, that its admirers will trifle with it.

Good education is shown and in the relation to flirtation, small novels and, especially, to love. It has no anything the general with hypocrisy when the woman tries to avoid everything, that in any measure can damage its reputations. Nobody will condemn enamoured if behind a wine wine-glass, on walk or during dance they show the gentle relation to each other. However if the enamoured lose the power over self and at all do not reckon with associates, it makes extremely unpleasant impression. If in dance in a public place the passion – behaviour of the woman, despite equality is openly expressed, looks indecent, and only the woman will condemn for it. Whether I am right, expensive readers?

Absence of ability to be self-controlled - the big lack. Whether it is good, when the wife criticises the husband among members of a family, the friends familiar, companions, trying to expose it from the ridiculous party to underline its errors and weakness? When mother at strangers abuses children? When the chief is impolite and proud with subordinates? When the employee roughly and insincerely concerns the companions? When the proprietress of the enterprise or trading tent is impolite and rough with subordinates and clients?

The rudeness shown in private life and on work, unpleasantly, as well as excessive not the boldness passing in humility.

But it is not necessary to confuse modesty and good manners to servility. Well brought up person always differs affability, sincerity and self-respect.

Everyone has weaknesses and lacks. However we at times do not notice own defects or we consider correct, that others do not speak about them, and at the same time we are irritated, seeing small lacks of associates.

At a close acquaintance or a joint life some restraint, than excessive familiarity is much better.

Who will like the person abusing trust? Ability to store another's secrets is virtue which each woman should possess.

Follows, as it is possible to use is more often than a word "thanks" and "please". Politeness if it not only external, be sincere. The careful relation to weaker and readiness always to come to them to the aid should be a component of your nature.

«The word - silver, and silence - gold», - is confirmed by an old proverb which presently recollect extremely seldom. The one who speaks much, speaks also nonsenses much.

Even if you were disappointed in the person whom appreciated or even loved, it is necessary to behave easy, with advantage, not to flare with hatred and desire to revenge.

If you are late somewhere, for this purpose there should be serious reasons. Chronic nepunktualnost is the insult for the person who waits for you. All men are afraid of unpunctual women, as fire.

Learn to listen is unusually valuable line which, unfortunately, not often meets. The madam de Montenon has fascinated French king Louis XIV that attentively listened to all time, was silent and expressed the opinion only when it about it asked.

If during conversation you interrupt the interlocutor, do not give it possibility to express up to the end, it testifies to your bad education. The reserved, tactful woman will always have the big success, than the talker who on each question even if it understands a little, hastens to express the opinion.

On materials of books of L.Aureden

It is pleasant, when on work praise a new dress even if the compliment is done by the chief. The invitation have supper from the colleague can to be pleasant if the colleague – the nice young man, and you are a lonely girl. And here when, ambiguously winking, you invites to "have breakfast" the aged chief or the married employee it starts to strain and even to frighten. What to do, if to you road work, and offers of unbusinesslike cooperation become too frequent, found out correspondent SHE.

The term sexual harassment sounds threateningly and designates sexual oppressions on a workplace. Abroad the woman can accuse for a long time the man who has paid for a supper, of infringement of the civil rights, at us while is easier: we love compliments, and at flowers we do not take offence. Flirtation is a necessary condition of normal coexistence raznopolyh individuals in one territory. «The sexual aura is present always where there would be no man and the woman. It is necessary for good head to construct business so that this aura did not stir to work», – the director of the Center of psychological medicine "Amalteja" Evgenie Aleksandrov tells. Flirtation very successfully can be used in career lifting (not to confuse to «the grey cardinal», described more low).

Who comes across in traps of non-staff relations?

1. Unsatisfied

Behaviour type when the woman openly shows the sexuality, – destiny of the few, and the reasons can be different – to written on the person «I want sex from indemnification of uncertainty in». Problems with a self-estimation in this or that party often provoke unnatural behaviour.

2. The searcher

If the woman has put on a short skirt, showing the harmonous legs, is does not mean at all, that she wants each man in the company. «But it it means, that in the field of partner search – somewhere for flirtation, somewhere for sticking, and somewhere already and the spouse», – is told about deep motivation by the head of the Academic psychosomatic centre of the Barbarian Leshchinsky. Such flirtation always is subconsciously encouraged mutually.

3. A victim

There are also soft girls who nevertheless and draw unhealthy attention. It is so-called type of a victim, it involves no more than 2 % of men, but the women who are repeatedly exposed to violence, more often to it concern and require serious psychological correction.

4. The grey cardinal

Shortage of time does not allow many men to seek the partner elsewhere. Therefore they type for work of women of certain type: which, often subconsciously, perceive such relations as a comprehensible way to rise on a career ladder and to have the secret power. The head finds absolutely devoted person, and the woman «rulit collective». Such models often pull down business as are constructed on erroneous illusion of fidelity.

The essence of the mechanism of any sticking is well described by such joke:

• If the military man speaks "yes", it means "yes". If he speaks "is not present", it means "is not present". If the military man speaks «can be» is not the military man.
• If the diplomat speaks "yes" it means «can be». If the diplomat speaks «can be» it means "is not present". If the diplomat speaks "is not present" is not the diplomat.
• If the girl speaks "is not present", it means «can be». If she speaks «can be», it "yes". If the girl speaks "yes" is not the girl.

At the woman always wider emotional range, and the man has sexual reaction, only if receives from the woman stimulus. For any woman it is normal and natural to send such signals, but many are not able to stop in time, and men perceive it as due. And knowing, that the girl means under «can be», show persistence in purpose achievement.

How with it to struggle?

The most important thing – direct conversation. It is necessary to let know, that "is not present" is is not present. In most cases it helps – here only often lady herself does not know, that wants, and the man does not know especially. Often it reduces it to a joke, and after a while all repeats. At refusal it is important to underline, that the man – good "male", the pleasant interlocutor and, that the most important thing, – the excellent person with whom it is necessary to work. To work – here it is necessary to turn a vector of mutual contacts. By words Barbarians Leshchinsky, at the woman it is a lot of possibilities to transform even rough sticking in normal interaction.

The chain «a sexual signal of the woman – sexual reaction of the man» should come to the end with proper response of the woman. Differently, if sticking, even the head, behaves aggressively, be not afraid to apply force.

To be afraid of dismissal it is not necessary: having run into proper response, emotion of an aggressor will come to naught. If the employee or the head values the reputation and a place even if he has literally gone mad, having desired you, press on sick points – in direct and figurative sense. Emotion of fear – the most deep in mentality, and it is much stronger than any sexual inclination.

That is interesting: even if you the chief even if the situation became intolerable persistently solicits, it will not dismiss you, if you the valuable worker. Much more often manipulations are made when see a weak point and on it press. According to the director of the personnel agency, wished to keep anonymity, the most widespread scheme harassmenta – not «the chief – the subordinate», and so-called linear: the top-manager and, for example, the sales manager. In that case, if business reaches the heads, he will prefer to leave more valuable employee.

The method as in the American films, – to put a photo with the young man on a desktop – is not so naive. The same as and if you will be regularly met by the attractive young man: for the lonely girl it is important to agree with the friend or the brother about such things is warns not only stickings, but also superfluous questions.

The law and order

At last, if all methods do not help also harassments risk to turn to violence, – the law on our party. It is necessary to write a written statement to Office of Public Prosecutor.

Proofs in a century of mobile phones not so are difficult for receiving, as it seems. Articles 132 and 133 UK the Russian Federation about compulsions to actions of sexual character and violent actions sexual character in the law are registered, and they work.

According to the honourable lawyer of the Russian Federation Daniel Shiryaev (a lawyer bureau «Filatov, Shiryaev and Ozornov») if criminal case is raised it cannot be closed any more, and our criminal system is so intended for punishment, that if flywheels twirl, the verdict of guilty is very probable. And the fact, that the woman the activity has finished business to court, is already critical for harassments.

However, as mark both personnel officers, and psychologists, the majority of the women who have appeared in a similar situation, even if to them offer the help (up to the lawyer), prefer to sit out, and then to take offence at «the broken career» or fairly to accept invitations. Having found out once unambiguous sights of colleagues, think, that you have missed. After all the reason is in most cases covered in the woman though and it is awkward to admit it.

Irina Kisner

On materials