To much to have to face problems in a kindergarten. As a rule it is a lot of them and all of them different. The relation of your child with the tutor, mutual relations with contemporaries. Excessive independence of your kid or on the contrary apathy to all. Trusting favourite and frequently the unique child to a kindergarten, all of us we hope, that stay of the kid in new collective will be comfortable and joyful. But, unfortunately, sometimes our hopes turn around disappointment. Whether because, what frequently parents and tutors simply are not able to listen to each other and rise on the different parties of barricades?

It can occur both on objective, and for the subjective reasons.

The objective reasons — for example, the unfair relation of tutors to the business, their low qualification. In this case you hardly will manage to change something, and the best exit — to take away the child from a kindergarten and to find another.

The subjective reasons operate, as a rule, both from parents, and from tutors. It is possible to carry unfairly positive or unfairly negative expectations of parents to them from preschool centre. Unfairly positive relation arises when parents, giving the child in a kindergarten, think that the kindergarten "will learn to all", and parents will need to do nothing. If these expectations appear vain, there is a huge pressure between parents and teachers. Actually the kindergarten is capable to make much for development of the pupils, but in it there are specific problems and it never can replace completely parents and educational influence of a family. If personal "detsadovsky" experience of the parent was unsuccessful or the parent did not visit a kindergarten, but heard set of conversations that "it is very bad", there is unfairly an uncooperative altitude. Such in advance prepared negative spirit is necessarily transferred to the child and not in the best way influences both it, and on relations between the tutor and the parent.

Other subjective reason of conflicts is connected by that the tutor at times becomes a power symbol for parents, a certain controller who estimates their actions, teaches them. When the tutor estimates the child, gives any recommendations, the parent very often wrongly considers, that estimate him, its solvency as the person and the parent. The same problems quite often arise and at the tutor when, for example, parents of pupils can neosoznanno remind it the person with whom once there was no relation.

One more problem is a fear of parents, in particular mums, to lose the control over the child. When they see, that kroha plunges into a new life, in them the present jealousy concerning that their child completely does not belong now to them wakes up. Such conditional side of "struggle" for children really exists. Than kvalifitsirovannee the tutor, than more he loves the work, especially zealously it concerns children, trying to transfer to parents the representation about the most different parties of education and development of the child. In consciousness of parents there can be an opinion, that the tutor "imposes" them the point of view. Unfortunately, there are teachers who not only like to dictate to parents as it is necessary to bring up their children, but also do it in enough categorical form: " Your child is not able it, it, it. You have badly prepared it for a kindergarten. You should do, also that ". Naturally, such morals influence parents very negatively.

There is a reason indirectly destroying the relations between the tutor and parents, are features of the child. If the kid is well prepared for a kindergarten (it is entered in a mode, is able odevatsja-undress, independently to eat, is accustomed to sit on employment, attentively to listen), as a rule, difficulties do not arise. Problems can appear, if parents have not taken care in time of correctly to correlate a mode of the child and a kindergarten or if in a family special attention was given to the child, it in what did not limit, continuously entertained. In the big collective to provide to the child habitual quantity of attention and full freedom it is impossible, therefore, not seeing the "due" relation from adults in a kindergarten, such child experiences inevitable difficulties and, as consequence, strong stress. Mum is nervous, assuming, that the kid is capricious and refuses to go to a kindergarten because there it treat badly. Actually the reason at all in the relation to the child, and that it is not entered in a mode of a kindergarten and in collective of children.

Some parents very painfully react even to a small scratch or a bruise brought by the child from a kindergarten. The claim to the tutor who "has overlooked" for the child, or aggression in relation to "the malicious offender" can be response. Excessive concern of parents only irritates the kid, incites it against a kindergarten. "Who has pushed you? Why he to you so has told? And whether there was you the first? And why to you have not given a poem? And why to you the teacher has put one cutlet, instead of two?" — Being rather perspicacious psychologists, children quickly understand, that the adult negative stories about children or tutors interest first of all, and, humouring under the parent, the child starts to compose such histories "specially for mum". It usually occurs at the age of 5—6 years when children already understand how can be manipulated people. It is artificial creating the conflict, they stand aside and look, "that will occur", receiving from it burning pleasure and satisfying the curiosity. Therefore parents should learn easy and with understanding to concern such things.

Any parent has the representations how it is necessary to bring up children, but within the limits of each preschool centre there are certain pedagogical methods. At receipt of the child in preschool centre of parents usually inform on a mode, about things which need to be brought in a garden, how there is a payment what employment exist. But neither administration, nor tutors in 90 % of gardens never speak about the pedagogical views — how the life in group is regulated, as conflicts between children are resolved, as it is possible to declare the claim to the tutor, if you are dissatisfied with something how to resolve the conflict if you do not find common language with the tutor. Modern parents adhere to various methods and education theories, and often happens, that their concept completely contradicts the system accepted in a kindergarten. Therefore, not informing parents at an initial stage, we pawn set of conflicts. But parents should understand also, that habitual methods of influence on the child can not work, when their child is in an environment of other children.

Now I will concern problems which arise from tutors. When you address to the last and you ask, what knowledge does not suffice them for work with children, they practically unanimously say all, that do not know how to work with parents! Really, all parents different, it is adult people, and to everyone it is necessary to find the certain approach. It is possible even to tell, that the majority of tutors are afraid of parents because perceive them as, first, a certain force which struggles for the child, for the power over it; secondly, as controllers who will come and will check up, that they do; thirdly, tutors simply are not able to communicate and inform correctly about the child in the nonaggressive form. Surprisingly, but the most part of preschool teachers never addresses to parents for the help concerning education of children! Representation about that teachers should teach the parents who are not understanding questions education of own offspring, is formed, probably, within the limits of an educational institution. And why tutors cannot address to parents for such help, after all parents are with the kid since the day of its birth and know the child much better?!

The most effective way of the resolution of conflicts between the tutor and the parent is a good work of the tutor. If it really works with soul, is keen on it, "burns" on work parents forgive it much. Such tutor, as a rule, does not have at all conflicts! However in most cases conflicts all the same take place. Whether it is possible to reduce them to a minimum?

The first — to inform parents still before their children have arrived in preschool centre, that will occur there, not only in respect of the schedule and the schedule, but also in respect of mutual relations and pedagogical influences.

The second — to show to parents how "without serious consequences" to resolve conflicts, if they arise. It is possible to create a special instruction in addition to the parental contract. In it there can be, for example, such words: "In our kindergarten it is not accepted to find out relations between the tutor and the parent in the presence of children", "In our garden it is not accepted to do remarks to another's children for lack of their parents and to assort quarrels of children without participants of the conflict". If to "register" these rules, and in time to acquaint with them parents many conflicts simply will not arise.

The third — to learn teachers competently to inform parents. For example, informing something negative about the child, always to begin with a positive response and only then to formulate a problem: "you Petja fine drew today, it at you remarkable, but is one party which very much excites me. You the child know, maybe, you to me something will advise in this plan … I I notice is better, what it often beats Katya how you consider with what it can be connected? Let's think together, in what here business and as it to help …". It is a cooperation position, dialogue on equal, the reference to the parent as to the knowing and competent person. Unfortunately, in existing system such individual approach to the child is often complicated.

One more problem — training of our kids. After all from tutors, instead of from parents ask result of work under the standard program: for example, all children of one group should master the program of five years' children. Thus the contribution of parents is not considered. It provokes pressure, after all it is supposed, that all children have come the equal. In existing system, unfortunately, these numerous contradictions are not resolved in any way. If the tutor starts to realise all these problems, he will know, why at it the irritation concerning the parent collects (it is very fine similar to my mother who oppressed me; or I am angry what at me not all children have equally promoted in training and why, as a matter of fact, the child who has come to me with backlog in a year, should as successfully to move ahead? Here are not guilty neither I, nor the parent). After comprehension of the similar reasons unconscious aggression concerning the parent partially acts in film.

Very often the tutor has claims to parents concerning that they are not engaged the at MAIN with the child. Especially actually it, for example, in logopedic groups where the big tasks are given to children. Conflicts though take away! But after all the parent simply is not able to be engaged in logopedics! Certainly, here it is necessary to reconsider all system which assumes, that parents will learn and douchivat children of the house.

Parents should study to inform to tutors the information in not disputed form. For example, having asked the tutor to give to the child of a medicine on hours, mum should understand, that at the tutor of 20 children and it is necessary, that it has found for this purpose time. Your understanding and the help to the tutor can be expressed in the simple things most, at first sight. Buying the child clothes for a kindergarten, choose such that fasteners and outsets did not prevent to put on to it independently, do not force the tutor to remind repeatedly to you of payment zhirovki (naturally, repeating many times the same request, the tutor is irritated on the parent, and as consequence, and on the child). Eventually, it is possible to hang up the announcement or to put a note in a locker to the child.

The conflict problem between parents and teachers is a global problem of a society in whole, the education system. There is also a set of the subjective reasons which even at very good tutor and the remarkable device of a kindergarten generate difficult relations. But, fortunately, the majority of parents and tutors understand, that is unique a correct and best exit consists at all in a continuous antagonism or passive inactivity, and in serious and thoughtful cooperation. To listen to each other and to make common cause is a hard work, but it is wholly remunerated by harmonious development and happiness of our children.

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Having married, you do not appear on a desert island with the favourite husband. At times it is necessary to live under one roof with his parents. And what if the mother-in-law sees in you the enemy and the competitor?

It seems to it, that you apply not only for attention of the adored son, but also to its living space and position of the mistress of the house. How to behave in the conditions of constant cavils and malevolence? Open scandal will spoil your image in the opinion of the husband, and for the mother-in-law begins a superfluous occasion to tell significantly to it: «Now you see? I was right!»

Your approach – respect and gratitude

Certainly, the best exit – to live separately from parents. But at times it too does not become a barrier to intervention during your life. It is necessary to prepare itself to that parents as the senior generation, people more conservative, that is why to go on compromises and to be loyal and flexible it is necessary to you.

It is not necessary to concern the mother-in-law with jealousy and hostility. So happens, that you not the unique favourite and native woman at your elect. He too loves mum. And you should be grateful to it that it has grown up and have brought up such remarkable person. The respect and gratitude should become starting points in your relations with the mother-in-law.

Do not involve the husband

If the conflict nevertheless has happened, do not demand support from the husband. Do not create a critical situation when before it there is a necessity of a choice between you and own mother. Men on the nature conservatives, therefore he can prefer its position as more familiar and habitual. Such outcome absolutely will discompose you and becomes threat for your relations.

Two mistresses it is better, than one?

Do not try to compete to the mother-in-law in house affairs. Whether all is equal, who irons shirts is better or cooks a borsch? At you with it different «weight categories»: certainly, you in another way prepare plov and differently stack things. Recognise its superiority and do not hesitate to ask council. Improve the skills under the authority of housekeeping and necessarily show the successes.

Usually the kitchen becomes territory of "military actions». Not to be restricted, suggest to differentiate duties. Agree with the mother-in-law, on what days you will prepare and what MAINwork wish to incur.

Mum glavnee grandmothers

If in questions of cookery a superiority palm tree it is possible to concede to the mother-in-law, in education of children your word the last. Mum for the child – MAIN thing, the grandmother on the second place. Eventually approaches to education, training and a food of children vary. Despite the fact that what at the mother-in-law wide experience, it has grown up own children, you should choose methods of education and care of the child. And the grandmother is obliged them to adhere.

At the same time it is not necessary to refuse its help. To you it will be easier and it will be possible to avoid the next occasion to contention. However from the very beginning tell to it in detail about the mode of day developed by you and a food of the child. The more precisely you will explain all, the will be occasions to quarrels less. Allow it to walk with the kid or to spend with it days off.

Remember: in conflicts two are guilty always. But at times only from you depends, there are you with the mother-in-law friends and allies or you will get the enemy in a family.

Majja Barsukova

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More than half of all cases of diseases of female reproductive sphere are the illnesses transferred sexual by. Annually with an inflammation tazovyh bodies one million women, from them 200 thousand — young girls falls ill. And every year half from these women and girls reMAIN fruitless. You knew it?

If is not present, you are followed by it the nobility. The inflammation of bodies of a basin can be destructive both physically, and emotionally. But, fortunately, almost always it can be prevented.

Disease represents an inflammation of bodies of reproductive system which begins as a bacterial infection of a vagina and the uterus neck, extending then on a uterus, fallopievy pipes and jaichniki. It is the serious infection often demanding hospitalisation and intravenous application of antibiotics. Symptoms can be strongly expressed — spasmodic pains in the field of a basin, morbidity at mocheispuskanii, a fever, a nausea. Should guard as well pathological allocation from a vagina. However approximately at half of infected women all these symptoms are absent or are very insignificant. And MAIN problem — that many hesitate of infections, are not treated and start them even more.

Transferred sexual by an infection — the most widespread reason of an inflammation tazovyh bodies, but not unique. It can cause and vnutrimatochnaja a spiral.

The risk of development of disease is especially great in first three months after introduction of contraceptive means: the normal environment of a vagina changes, its protective properties decrease, and the reproductive system is easily infected. The risk amplifies, if vnutrimatochnoe the device is entered incorrectly and also if one or both partners are not monogamous.

More often with an inflammation tazovyh bodies young women at the age from 16 till 26 years fall ill.

Partly this results from the fact that the reproductive system of teenagers has not completely ripened, therefore, if infected there was a uterus neck, probability of distribution of an infection further, on a uterus and pipes, is great enough. The very young girls who are in constant search of the sexual partner, risk most of all. Besides, even being once cured, disease can repeat again and again.

After the first inflammation tazovyh bodies the risk of the subsequent relapses for young women increases in 2-3 times. Though the reasons of it are not found quite out, there is an assumption, that the primary infection influences on matochnye pipes, doing their more susceptible to penetration of harmful microorganisms.

As speak, it is warned — means, it is armed. Think of following warning facilities of disease.

You should know symptoms of the illnesses transferred sexual by, and inflammations tazovyh bodies, and to address to the doctor at the slightest suspicion on them. Do not hesitate: the later you will begin treatment, the it is more probability of complications (for example, developments of adhesive process).

Each time at sexual contacts protect itself from transferred sexual by illnesses by means of a condom. Destroying spermatozoidy means in the form of pastes and jelly, and also caps are less reliable, than condoms. Is better to use these means together with a condom, instead of instead of it.

Punctually carry out all doctor's instructions even if inflammation symptoms will disappear. Be convinced, that all your sexual partners as have recovered.

If you use vnutrimatochnoe contraceptive means, regularly pass survey.

If you are very active in the sexual relation, regularly pass survey.

According to the British scientists, the stress of parents directly influences immunity of their child. Researchers explain such dependence to that kids are very sensitive to a nervous condition of fathers and mothers and empathize them, that conducts to decrease in children's immunity.

Group of scientists of university of Rochester led by doctor Mary Kasertoj for the first time have carried out research in which course it is revealed, that between an emotional condition of parents and immune system of their children there is a direct dependence.

Researchers believe, that the data obtained by them will serve for restless parents as an occasion to think of the nature of the excitements and to cease to be nervous on trifles.

In experiment which lasted three years, have taken part 169 children and their parents. Each six months psychiatrists estimated a condition of adults. Before passage of survey parents should fix all cases of diseases of children independently. As a result scientists have found out, that the rising generation in the families subject to stresses, tests problems with health is much more often.

Experts declare, that similar researches can convince uneasy parents to cease to worry without case and calmness of adults will favorably affect state of health of kids. After all steadiness of parents will favorably affect not only on health of children, but also their own state of health: the immune system of the first suffers from stress, without dependence from age of the person. Under the influence of experiences the most various infections can be shown: ORVI, a herpes, the milkwoman. Sometimes nervousness leads to depression, an irregular food, a sleeplessness, psychological feebleness and apathy.

The excessive increase in weight of a body at pregnancy raises risk of complications for health of the child at what it concerns not only current pregnancy, but also children born further. Food requirements of a germ make approximately 300 calories in day, and additional kgs of future mother can do much harm both to its health and health of the baby, accoucheurs from the medical centre of University of New York/SSHA/and University of Clevelend/Avstralija/speak. Doctors recommend to mums to be guided by feeling of appetite and to use food slowly.

During pregnancy the woman with normal weight usually grows stout on 11-15 kgs. Indicators less than 6 or more 18 kgs are considered as the inadmissible. However the majority of women do not pay attention to councils to watch closely quantity of consumed products and to regulate weight of a body. Essential addition in weight during pregnancy endangers health of mum and the kid and forms preconditions for such complications as a diabetes, high arterial pressure and even increases abortion threat. Physicians assure, that to pregnant women vital to adhere to the balanced diet, to supervise bent for to unhealthy meal and to be engaged in moderate physical activity. Prevention of reception of excess weight at early stages of pregnancy will help to avoid probable risks and quickly to get rid of unnecessary kgs after sorts.

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