How to get on with the mother-in-law?
As they say, we marry the favourite person, instead of for its relatives. But we do not choose the mother-in-law. What to do, if for easy relations to wait it is not necessary?
Joke in a theme. One friend shares with another family news: "the Daughter has married. Yes so it is successful! The husband of coffee submits to bed, new things buys, apartment cleans, all salary to copeck — in the family budget. And here the wife has got to the son the useless. On the house does nothing, one rags on mind. The son himself everywhere turns - and houses, and on work, moreover to it in the mornings coffee in bed submits!" Isn't that so, an excellent illustration of different sights at the same situation? Competently to build the relations with the mother-in-law, try to define, it concerns what type, and learn, how with it to get on. It will help to pass successfully test which with acquisition of the status of the daughter-in-law is frequently tightened not for one year, — examination on a psychological maturity and family compatibility.
The owner
Heavy case. Single mothers to uncomfortable private life, at which in a life unique pleasure — the beloved sonny happen owners more often. Any pretender to a role of the wife of the son causes in the potential mother-in-law frank hostility, and its marriage it perceives as impudent abduction of a private property. To please it it is practically impossible, after all the standard — she.
Confrontation with similar type of the mother-in-law does not give positive results but only aggravates family crisis: to change other person it is practically impossible, especially, if he has not ripened for changes. It is necessary to hope only, that this selfish woman at last will reconsider own sights and will cease to exhaust others. Or you deserve a praise of the husband of type: "At you the borsch has turned out almost as at my mum, and a shirt you iron as it". Or your man himself will want to pass from a command "mother's sonnies" in a category "adult husbands".
Eternally young
Quite successful variant. Such woman always was beautiful and desired for men. Till now she watches herself, has many gentlemen and conducts active private life. The mother-in-law will not have anything against marriage of the son, but can be afraid of a role of the grandmother as it begins to remind it of age. Such women ask all life to address to them by name — ljusja, Allochka... This mother-in-law will not interfere with a life of a young family as it is occupied by itself. Its son, most likely, becomes the ideal husband as in families with such type of mothers the cult of the woman reigns, and men are undemanding and are able to be in charge of housekeeping. To have good relations with the mother-in-law, do not stint compliments. Do not try to eclipse its dresses and a youth, it will cause envy and will provoke a competition. To it it will be pleasant, if you invite her to any cultural action, showing to that, that it the interesting person in itself, and not just as the appendix to the son. It is possible to consult on it concerning a clothes or a make-up. A gift to it to make easily: an elegant scarf to a target suit or a tube of good lipstick quite will approach.
Traditsionalistka
It will very delicately enter herself in a family of the son. Often adheres to traditional sights at family way, considers, that mission of the woman in sacrificial service to the man, but to her sacrifice of pleasure does not bring.
Problem — in its not realised internal installation: to live in misfortunes and difficulties, instead of with pleasure. Most likely, it is not arranged in private life, could not realise itself in work and is not able to live in harmony with associates that paints for it the world in grey colour.
Try to marry the mother-in-law or help to find to it hobby (it can be useful and for you if you charge it care of a summer residence or care of pets). Try not to afflict with its stories about the prosperity, complain about troubles and problems is better. In difficult situations you can safely address to it for the help, it will gain. Sympathy in your address from its party is the best way for an establishment of equal mutual relations "girlfriends by misfortune".
Carried away
Is not content with a role of mother and the mistress of the house, and aspires to realise itself in professional work and happens completely it is absorbed by work. It with pleasure and hunting will transfer you the right to care of the son and even about herself if you want. This mother-in-law is not torn to help with difficult situations and not very much is interested in grandsons. But sincerely considers, that you should build the life, therefore does not interfere, does not bother with notations and does not give councils. Sometimes, the truth, happens is whimsical, but with it it is easy to find common language in the rest: it is deprived prejudices and is quite tolerant to another's opinion.
You wish to gain it? Be interested in its work is more often. Thus it is not important, that you understand nothing the finance, in eyes did not see a laser microscope or do not distinguish creativity the Bass from Tiyo, MAIN thing — to listen to it with full attention and genuine interest. And if something you will remember from its stories and explanations then you can flash knowledge before less educated public.
Brood hen
It is type of sacrificial mother, the benevolent mother-in-law and the philoprogenitive grandmother. The daughter-in-law becomes for it the daughter. "Brood hen" considers the family and a family of the son as a single whole. Therefore will be active to oppose to your attempts to live independently. Tasty house suppers to you are provided, ideal cleanliness in apartment too. And it will indulge infantile behaviour of adult children. Certainly, it is easily possible to shift the lion's share of economic cares but then there is a risk imperceptibly on the mother-in-law to get to it to slavery. In this case important skilfully to balance between its care, mutual trust and own independence. Otherwise your husband and reMAINs "the mother's sonny" till an old age, and you will cease to understand, where your own desires, and where the fritters imposed by the mother-in-law instead of fruit salad.
Komandirsha
In the family she has got used to solve all, and behind others a vote almost does not recognise. You, of course, can express of the mother-in-law own opinion into its or any other account, but consider, that it will be obviously wrong. And in the answer there is a risk to receive a stutter of a machine gun from charges, morals and orders. If has got used to submit, you can live together with "komandirshej", especially if she has approved a choice of the son.
However if you the person quite independent, do not suffer another's intervention during the life is better to meet the mother-in-law only on the big holidays and in words always to agree. Or to take of a position of the observer. MAIN thing to keep advantage and not to fall before household scandals. The mother-in-law will estimate your persistence and hardness as the strong personality is capable to recognise only other strong personality.
The mother-in-law-hypochondriac
It all time aches, that complains of a lumbago on pokalyvanija though the reason of its indispositions for doctors to find it is not possible. Actually it not illness, and a way of life and the family device when all relatives serve the imaginary patient from what the family becomes splochennej, and the mother-in-law receives attention and general care. You can join in offered game and to become a member of it "a mug on interests". If such role does not approach you, try to be from it on respectful distance, after all ipohondricheskie moods can deduce and you from composure. And if you are inspired enough, also itself will start to search at yourself to nobody for known illness on pair with the mother-in-law.
Ideal
This mother is glad, if to well her son. It not begins to interfere with your relations. You will always find at it the help. She will take your part if you will quarrel with the husband. The part of its fault will incur, including it a lack of the education. The son will try to learn everything, that is able itself, and you should not play a role of the servant. You will want to name her mother. She sincerely rejoices to any sign on attention. You think, such mothers-in-law do not happen? Allow to trust in miracles!
The information is taken:
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The period of human life from the childhood till a youth
The teenage age concerns the so-called critical periods of human life. Positive sense of teenage crisis that through it, through struggle for independence, the struggle which is occurring in rather safe conditions and not accepting extreme forms, the teenager satisfies requirements for self-knowledge and self-affirmation. It not simply has a feeling of a self-trust, but the ways of behaviour allowing it and further to cope by vital difficulties are formed.
Thus it is important to parents to mean, that crisis symptoms are not shown constantly, it is faster the incidental phenomena though at times they repeat often enough. Intensity of crisis symptoms and ways of their expression also are various.
podezno the nobility
According to psychologists, there are two basic ways of course of teenage crisis. The first – independence crisis. Its symptoms – obstinacy, obstinacy, negativism, willfulness, depreciation of adults, the negative relation to their requirements which were earlier carried out, the protest-revolt, jealousy of the property. It is some jerk forward, an exit for limits of old norms, rules. "I any more the child".
The second – dependence crisis. Its symptoms – excessive obedience, dependence from senior or strong, recourse to old interests, tastes, behaviour forms. It is return back, to that position, to that system of relations which guaranteed emotional well-being, feeling of confidence, security. "I the child also wish to reMAIN it".
During teenage age parents face the whole mountain of the problems complicating dialogue with the teenager. These are the most difficult years in dialogue with the loved one, they can change the scenario of relations in a family. For simplification of dialogue it is possible to address to following rules.
It is necessary to estimate and encourage any positive behaviour of the child, to try not to focus attention on the negative moments. It does not mean, that it is necessary to shut eyes to tricks of your teenager. It is important to understand, that the child does not have not enough dialogue and approval from adults, and such inadequate behaviour can be directed on attraction of your attention (shouts, alcohol, drugs and cigarettes). In this case it is better to give to the child this attention without provocations from its party.
If the child speaks with you about problems at school, means, it has considered necessary with you to share. In this case it is not necessary to perceive negative behaviour of the child at school only as its fault. It is better to talk to the child about that, as though he wanted, that would be at school. And also to try to present itself on a place of your child and to estimate a situation.
If punishment is inevitable, it is not necessary to resort to violence. Where more effectively to deprive of the child of privileges. Naturally, it does not concern such things as meal. For example, the child it is possible to deprive of possibility to watch TV. Also it is necessary to avoid material compensation not to generate behaviour only for the sake of profit. It is necessary to explain always to the teenager because of what it deprive of privileges, but thus it is obligatory to listen and its point of view.
Never it is necessary to threaten the child as in you he sees support. Otherwise it should seek support elsewhere or in vodka and cigarettes. Sneers, threats and punishments in what will not result. It is better to use belief as it is unique a true way.
Important accurately to formulate the requirements – that you from it wait. And to explain, that the positive behaviour will result in positive consequences. It is benefit for both parties. It is possible to give an example that behaviour which is comprehensible and it is desirable both for you and for the child. Besides, it is possible to create system of unacceptable behaviour together with the child and gradually to raise a lath of this behaviour. It is necessary to remunerate the teenager at each stage of improvement of behaviour.
One more important point in dialogue with the adolescent – it is necessary to avoid use of labels in dialogue with the child as he can apprehend it as your estimation of its behaviour and the given fact can lead to the inadequate, underestimated self-estimation.
And MAIN thing – to the child it is necessary to be respectful, pamjatuju that the teenager acquires the most part of values and norms, imitating significant adults for it. Thus, if the child does not have close connection with the parents at it will be a few possibilities and desire to imitate it or to appropriate their norms of behaviour. In the absence of such internal core (the control values), children's aggression, most likely, will be shown at once, is direct also in the social image.
Galina Angiju
According to a site
How to get rid of the milkwoman?
Practically each woman during this or that moment of the life faced such unpleasant disease as the milkwoman, and this problem pursues some constantly, considerably worsening mood and intrafamily relations. Allocation and an itch (the most frequent symptoms) can be simply intolerable, forcing to run to the doctor, and can be and moderately expressed, but exhausting, to proceed day by day, and in this case the woman usually comes to a drugstore behind the help.
Recently high distribution of fungoid diseases from which most often there is a milkwoman is marked. The milkwoman (or vulvovaginalnyj a candidiasis) is caused drozhzhepodobnymi by mushrooms of type Candida albicans.
The candidiasis of genitals arises in a vagina more often. Cases asymptomatic vaginalnogo infitsirovanija are very extended by mushrooms of type Candida: the percent of detectability at healthy women reaches till 15-20. By data statisticans, Candida is the reason of fungoid infections at 80 % of women of young age.
The most frequent reason of the milkwoman is course carrying out antibiotikoterapii. Such courses substantially kill useful bacteria which protect our organism, cause a dysbacteriosis not only in intestines, but also in a vagina. Also the big role in patogeneze fungoid infections take away to stomach and intestines diseases, a diabetes, gipovitaminozam and a number of others endokrinnyh diseases.
The women, vulvas suffering by a candidiasis and vaginas, MAINly complain of an itch and bleach with an impurity tvorozhisto-kroshkovidnyh inclusions, whence there was a name "milkwoman". Allocation can be dense, white, zheltovato-greenish, depending on weight of process, are accompanied by usually sourish, unpleasant smell. The itch causes weight of anxieties to patients, sometimes doing their invalid and strongly loosening nervous system since it practically does not calm down, amplifies at night and leads travmatizatsii mucous because of raschesov. At chronic forms of the milkwoman the itch can be almost unique complaint, sometimes it amplifies after sexual intercourse, and also before the monthly.
With candidiasis one or some times in a life many women are ill, since "favorable" conditions for occurrence of the milkwoman (hormonal shift, antibiotics) happens set. About half of women by 25 years have time to transfer to two and more episodes of the milkwoman. MAIN problem consists that at a part of women the candidiasis passes in the chronic form and disturbs them not less often than 2-4 times every year.
Treatment of the milkwoman occurs in two stages: elimination of symptoms and prevention of relapses of illness. Symptoms of the milkwoman are easy for suppressing, but, completely to forget about the milkwoman, it is necessary to spend serious treatment.
At treatment of the milkwoman it is necessary to find out, than disease is caused. As already it was mentioned above, to its occurrence pregnancy, hormonal shifts, hormonal contraception, reception of antibiotics, a diabetes have. At the chronic milkwoman of a vagina frustration of immunity, MAINly local character can be observed. At the women predisposed to the milkwoman the special form of an allergy — hypersensitivity to Candida which explains frequent aggravations of disease is possible.
The complex approach is necessary for successful therapy of a candidiasis and prevention of relapses. To treatment of sharp forms of the milkwoman apply local protivogribkovuju therapy. Now there are the diversified forms of preparations: creams, ointments, candles, vaginalnye tablets. The woman can choose that form which most of all approaches it. The structure of these preparations includes such substances, as butokonazol, klotrimazol, ekonazol, etc.
In more difficult cases it is required not only etiotropnoe treatment (i.e. elimination of the activator of disease), but also elimination of contributing factors. Various schemes at which protivogribkovye preparations accept inside, and also mestno are applied, necessarily used immunopreparaty, eubiotiki and vitamins. At selection of vitamins it is necessary to consider, that the milkwoman quite often amazes not only a vulva and a vagina, but also intestines. Therefore appointment of vitamins of group of V.Tselesoobrazno use of the polyvitamins containing a high-grade set of vitamins and minerals is obligatory.
It is necessary to underline, that a proof candidiasis of a vulva and a vagina, badly giving in to treatment, a sign of such heavy disease, as a diabetes, therefore blood research on sugar quite often is at candidiases necessarily at any age. As to reception of antibiotics, that them would not treat, it is necessary to supplement a course protivogribkovymi with preparations for preventive MAINtenance of by-effects, about it sometimes for some reason forget the doctor. It is very important, after all at antibiotikoterapii the candidiasis not only vaginas, but also intestines that promises weight of problems can to develop as complication. Among protivogribkovyh means for intake it is necessary to allocate preparations flukonazola which effectively and quickly influence pathogenic mushrooms, excepting negative influence on an organism. Reception flukonazola does not lead to infringement of balance of normal bacterial microflora as it operates only on mushrooms and does not influence useful bacteria. In heavy cases at chronic retsidivirujushchem a current preparations itrakonazola under various schemes of reception can be applied.
Opinion of the expert
Zuhra ZHemoldinova, the accoucheur-gynecologist of the highest category, the general director of a network of the medical centres “Female ambulance station”
The milkwoman name vulvovaginalnyj a candidiasis (VVK), this disease of the bottom departments of sexual system of the women, caused drozhzhepodobnymi mushrooms of sort Candida. C. albicans traditionally was considered as MAIN and most known activator VVK, causing disease in 85—90 % of cases. However the quantity steady to antimikotikam shtammov now grows, and also the contribution of other kinds Candida to disease development increases. So, prevalence VVK, caused non-albicans kinds, only for last 10 years has increased twice. Thus the candidiasis usually proceeds in chronic retsidivirujushchej to the form, is steady against the preparations applied mestno, and to a number system antimikotikov. Therefore if earlier, “treatment of a candidiasis by one capsule” now even more often it is necessary to appoint flukonazol under longer schemes also practised higher doses.
As a whole it is necessary to notice, that disease VVK has sharply increased both in Russia, and in many countries of the world, the given disease is one of the most widespread reasons of the reference to the gynecologist. Thus sharp lifting of disease begins after 20 years, and its maximum is necessary on the following of 20 years of a life. Risk factors of development VVK: pregnancy, oral contraceptives, antibiotics, kortikosteroidy, immunosupressory, a diabetes and immunodefitsitnye conditions.
Depending on a clinical variant of a current allocate three forms VVK:
1. Kandidonositelstvo — complaints are not present, but at research in separated vaginas find out drozhzhepodobnye mushrooms. In some cases nositelstvo can pass in clinically expressed form.
2. The sharp form — duration of disease does not exceed two months. Presence of reddening, an itch, a hypostasis and vydeleny is characteristic.
3. Chronic form VVK — duration of disease more than two months, thus symptoms not such sharp.
The diagnosis retsidivirujushchego vaginalnogo a candidiasis put, when within one year it is registered not less than four clinically expressed episodes of the given disease. Thus at 50 % of the women, suffering the given form of a candidiasis, disease symptoms appear in the range from several days about three months after successful treatment of episode VVK.
Typical symptom VVK are curdled whitish dense allocation, and also an itch amplifying during time menstruatsii, in second half of day, after long walking. Also there can be a feeling of burning and sharp morbidity at mocheispuskanii.
Treatment is shown only in the presence of the clinical picture of disease confirmed with data of laboratory analyses. Therapy is not shown at detection C. albicans, but in the absence of clinical symptoms of disease. At sharp VVK often appoint local therapy (butokonazol, klotrimazol, ekonazol, natamitsin etc.) But now system means (flukonazol, itrakonazol) are used also. Extremely widespread error is appointment of such means, as nystatin and levorin. Their bioavailability does not exceed 5 %, therefore outside of a gastroenteric path these antimikotiki are inefficient. At treatment chronic vaginalnogo a candidiasis first of all it is necessary to appoint system treatment flukonazolom, itrakonazolom in a combination with local therapy as local preparations remove displays of the milkwoman faster, and system – destroy vnevlagalishchnye tanks Candida. Preventive MAINtenance and prevention of relapses VVK is Besides, shown: after a treatment basic course at chronic VVK, after a basic course of treatment of the sharp form in the presence of synchronisation risk factors, at application of antibiotics.
According to a site
The barreness reason it becomes frequent adneksit
The barreness reason such disease, as adneksit becomes frequent. Its microorganisms in matochnyh pipes and on jaichnikah cause inflammatory protective reaction. If correct treatment quickly to get rid of the activator and to extinguish it all will do without consequences. However if the inflammation lasts long enough instead of the lost cages the dense connecting fabric is formed. And the gleam of a pipe so having diameter no more 2 mm, can grow with a connecting fabric and the pipe becomes impassable. Also the inflammation causes defeat of cages epitelija matochnyh pipes. And such sick cages not in forces to inform jajtsekletku from jaichnika to a uterus.
Long capsule inflammations jaichnikov growth of a connecting fabric also can cause. If it becomes too strong there is its risk nerazryva during the moment ovuljatsii a follicle. In this case can arise melkokistoznye changes jaichnikov when ripened jajtsekletka cannot leave a follicle. In such cases pregnancy becomes impossible.
Damages can reach besides a pipe and jaichnika also an internal cover of a belly cavity. For prevention of distribution of an infection in brjushine the connecting fabric starts to be formed. As a result there are solderings which stick together leaves brjushiny among themselves, limiting an inflammation, but simultaneously leading malopodvizhnosti internal bodies. Such process name "adhesive". One of consequences – mobility decrease matochnyh pipes which is necessary for high-grade carrying over jajtsekletki to a uterus.